Overcoming Social Anxiety

How to deal with 5 of the most common anxiety-inducing situations:

1. Attending an event alone

  • En route to the event, think of a few conversation starters. If the function is a friend's birthday, for example, you can ask guests how they know the host.

  • If there is a topic you want to avoid that you know may come up (you just lost your job) rehearse viable answers to questions like, "What do you do?"

  • When you arrive, scan the space and reassure yourself by recognizing that everyone there is most likely just as nervous as you to meet new people. Everyone will appreciate you if you choose to be the person to make that first move and introduce yourself.

2. Interviewing for a job

  • Research the company the night before, so the information is fresh in your mind. Recite the facts aloud and focus on your breathing. This will reinforce self assurance and eliminate anxiety.

  • Make sure to wear the outfit that makes you feel best about yourself. Invest in a new one if you have to; when you like your appearance, you feel more confident.

  • Asking questions at the end of the interview will help take the focus off you, which will decrease your anxiety. Asking questions is also just generally an important practice at an interview to show the potential employer your interest.

3. Approaching someone to hit on them

  • Ask yourself, "What do I really have to lose?" Recognize that you may never see this person again. The bruised ego associated with rejection is fleeting.

  • Take a few steady breaths and remind yourself that you are a prize. Anyone would be lucky to have you approach them and make the first move.

  • Think about what you are going to say before walking over to the person. Most lines can be construed as innocently friendly just in case they do reject you (which is unlikely).

4. Dining alone at a restaurant

  • Bring a book or a magazine. This shifts the focus from worrying about not having anything to do.

  • Try sitting at the bar and avoid using your phone. Bartenders are typically really friendly and enjoy talking to solo diners. Keeping device usage to a minimum opens you up to new possibilities, like meeting new people or having an unexpected yet stimulating conversation.

  • Keep in mind that most people are not focusing on you or the fact that you are alone. Everyone spends way more time worrying about themselves than others.

5. Cold calling

  • Understand your odds. Every rejection should be a celebration, because it means you are one step closer to a "yes" answer. It can take about 20 rejections to get one sale.

  • Create a bulleted script to boost your confidence levels. Pretend you are on stage and have the power to entertain someone.

  • Liz Welsh of Real Simple reports that smiling releases tension and stress and can be reverberated through the phone.

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