4 Habits for Great Relationships!
Every morning I take my dog for a walk along the D & L trail in Pennsylvania. It tends to be quiet and peaceful early in the morning. One day last week, just down the cinder path ahead of us was an older couple walking and holding hands. Eventually, I caught up to them and, of course, we had to stop and say hello (anyone who has ever had the joy of owning a puppy will understand!). We offered pleasantries and through conversation I learned they had recently celebrated their 54th wedding anniversary. Just amazing! I asked both of them “what’s your secret?”. The couple looked at each other and smiled. She finally said “we are always learning something together.” Definitely, not what I was expecting given the typical response tends to be more on the humorous side. What I heard that day reminded me of a Ted Talk I listened to a few months ago.
Dr. Andrea and Jonathan Taylor-Cummings developed what they call the 4 Habits for Great Relationships. In any relationship, hurdles are inevitable and the honeymoon period ends. But, it is in these moments, that we have to lean more heavily on each other. Navigating through these tough events, with the right tools, can lay strong foundations of commitment, trust, and respect. The experienced couple that I met on my walk certainly embodied these key habits.
The 4 Habits for Great Relationships are:
Be CURIOUS, not critical
Be CAREFUL, not crushing
ASK, don’t assume
CONNECT before you correct
#1 BE CURIOUS, not critical.
Habit #1 will help you get over the hurdle of frustrations that can come from unmet expectations. We're all wired differently and aren't even aware of some of our expectations until we are disappointed. Improving your understanding allows you to play to your respective strengths, rather than waste time & energy criticizing differences.
#2 BE CAREFUL, not crushing
Habit #2 will help you get over the hurdle of poor conflict resolution and the damage this can cause in relationships. You can do this by learning how to "show up" better, manage conflict effectively and come out stronger together.
#3 ASK, don't assume
Habit #3 will help you get over the hurdle of mistrust and dis-respect that can creep into relationships. Have courageous conversations where you ask and discuss, rather than assume and stereotype.
#4 CONNECT, before we correct
Habit #4 will help you get better at communicating real value and appreciation, and hold back on that need to give "constructive feedback" that so many of us are all too good at! You do this by learning how to communicate value and show appreciation in ways that mean the most to the people you care about.
I challenge you, over the next 30 days, to implement these habits into your relationship! Give us your opinion on what makes a great relationship and share a tip for our readers!
Follow the link for more information on the 4 habits .
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