International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day
As we are all getting ready for Thanksgiving, November 21st is International Survivors of Suicide Loss day. According to a report by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide rates for adults in the United States are on the rise; since 1999, suicide rates in 25 states increased by more than 30%. In the US, suicide accounted for nearly 45,000 deaths in 2016. Each person who dies by suicide leaves behind an estimated six or more “suicide survivors” — people who’ve lost someone they care about deeply and are left grieving and struggling to understand.People coping with this kind of loss often need more support than others, but may get less. Why?
Survivors struggle to understand and may feel guilt over “allowing it to happen and not noticing”. They may be reluctant to confide that the death was self-inflicted. And when others know the circumstances of the death, they may feel uncertain about how to offer help.Suicide survivors feel lots of stigma, shame and isolation which complicates their grief.They also experience mixed emotions. After a homicide, survivors can direct their anger at the perpetrator. In a suicide, the victim is the perpetrator, so there is a bewildering clash of emotions If you know a survivor of suicide or know someone please follow these guidelines:
1) Avoid hollow reassurances
2) Don’t ask too many questions regarding the death
3) Remember the person - focus more on who they were and their life than the way they diedSelect an area to comment on
4) Help with the practical things
5) Be there for the long haul
Survivors are not all alike. Even if you are a suicide survivor yourself, don’t assume that another person’s feelings and needs will be the same as yours. It’s fine to say you can’t imagine what this is like or how to help. Follow the survivor’s lead when broaching sensitive topics: “Would you like to talk about what happened?” (Ask only if you’re willing to listen to the details.) Even a survivor who doesn’t want to talk will appreciate that you asked
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