How To Support Our Children During The Coronavirus
Maintain Structure. Set up specific times for reading/homework, chores, independent free time, mealtimes, family time and bedtime. Consistency and structure are calming during times of stress as this may be the only thing where we have control. Kids, particularly those who are younger or who are anxious, benefit from knowing what is going to happen and when ahead of time. Like every teacher or camp counselor, create a schedule that changes activities in predictable intervals, and alternates between learning and play. Most importantly, write it down so everyone can see. We have included a sample daily schedule for the kiddos above.
Parents need time too. Everyone needs a breather. Managing your anxiety teaches your kids to do so. Keep your eye out for catastrophic thinking. For instance assuming everybody has an ache or cough is a sign that you have been infected. It is completely ok to be worried and anxious, however, we want to balance that with problem solving and mindful acceptance. Make sure your children know that you will plan blocks of time for yourself and that they will need to self-entertain. This will give you time for needed chores and your own mental-health time. Schedule your own self-reflection, checking in with other parents and exercise time.
Realizing your own social needs, try to schedule set times to check in with your adult friends. You can also consider setting up a Zoom community of friends where you can have a designated time to check-in with each other. Have grandparents do regular video calls with the kids. Engage in a little virtual babysitting.
Free time. Outside time and fresh air has huge physical and mental health benefits. While children might complain about not knowing what to do, they will quickly find something to explore or create while outside. Don’t let the familiar “I’m bored” get you down. It also can be helpful to create a space in the house where children can free play. For those of you who may have older children, the main complaint is the social isolation. Zoom sessions with their friends is an option. This is also a great time to break out old projects, puzzles, and board games. That said, playdates are not a good idea in most areas at this point. Sticking to your family unit is ideal for the time being, as hard as that may be.
Increased screen time is OK…..within reason. Typically, families will have some form of limit on screen time during the week and loosen up the restrictions on the weekend. Do what you need to do within reason. While binge-watching might seem like a great idea in the moment, most likely this will create a tense moment when you try to pry them from the screen. Several one-hour blocks a day is better than binge-watching.
Stick to a sleep schedule. While it might be tempting for your older children to stay up late every night and sleep late every morning, that’s not going to be beneficial to their physical and mental health. When circadian rhythms get confused, many other issues arise which can cause very moody children the next day. Stick with your bedtime schedule. You can relax some of these restrictions within reason. For example, if your 12 year old usually goes to bed at 9, pushing back their bed time to 9:30 is a compromise that will not throw off their sleep routine. PLEASE continue to enforce no screen time 30-60 minutes before bed.
Limit the news. For your own mental health, and the mental health of your children, try to limit the intake of news. Constantly following the latest coronavirus news will only increase the entire family’s anxiety. If they want to talk about it, certainly be honest with them.
Give kids an outlet to discuss emotions. Journaling is a good way for adolescents to process their feelings in this uncertain time. You can also set aside a time to talk as a family about how everyone is feeling and coping with the outbreak. A great time to do this is after dinner, or pick your own time. Some families may be tempted to have these discussions getting ready for bed but this can increase your child’s anxiety right before sleep. It’s important to acknowledge their anxiety but also their loss and grief about upcoming trips and school programs that probably won’t happen. This could be a great time to introduce some calm breathing techniques or meditation using one of the free meditation apps with a focus on children.
Adjust to your child. All of these tips should be adjusted to the age and maturity of your child/children. For example, teens will need to be in contact with their friends over social media a bit more than our younger kiddos and those who tend to be more hyperactive and impulsive may need more structure and active time.
Make sure the information is age appropriate.
The main emphasis for younger children should be on safety. This can be as simple as verbally and physically assuring them that they are safe and cared for. When it comes to your middle and high school children, we want to be careful not to share too much of your own anxieties. Stick to the facts. For other tips on how to communicate with children about the coronavirus check out the following link from U.S Department of Health and Human Services Talking with Children: Tips for Caregivers, Parents and Teachers During Infectious Disease Outbreaks
Other Resources:
How to talk to Kids about Coronavirus
Coronavirus and Child Anxiety
Co-Parenting and the Coronavirus
SUpporting kids during the Coronavirus