BULLYING PREVENTION MONTH
Bullying can happen for many different reasons. Typically, it creates a way to get power and attention for the bully. You may be thinking “Well isn’t bullying just teasing? Or kids being kids?”. The short answer is NO. Bullying is done to intentionally hurt another child and is often times chronic. That combination often can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety for those being bullied. Cyberbullying, another type of bullying that only happens online using texting, social media, gaming, and chatrooms; has become one of the most common forms of bullying today.
The best way to help your child is to start talking today. It is much more effective if you talk to your child BEFORE bullying happens. Not only does this allow you to arm them with the appropriate tools to defend themselves, but it also creates an atmosphere where they feel it is ok to come and talk to you if it does happen. It’s also just as important for your child to know that it’s never okay to bully someone else or to join in when another child is being bullied.
The number one thing a bully wants is the REACTION. Often times you will hear adults or some professionals recommend ignoring the bully. While this is effective, it seems it is often misunderstood. You don’t want your child, who is getting bullied, to feel as though they have to endure the bullying and to “just ignore it”. Explain to them that the bully wants attention or to get a rise out of them. So, ignoring the bully is the best thing to do. However, you are also going to help your child come up with a few things they can say so they can walk away without giving the bully what they want (We have some examples below). This is especially true if they are being bullied on the internet. This can mean walking away or turning off the electronic device. When possible, always save the messages or chats as proof/evidence.
I think we can all agree that one of the best ways to stop bullying is for children to stand up for one another. Encourage your child to talk with their friends and make an agreement that they will stick up for each other if bullying occurs. If the bullying continues, your child’s school should be notified, whether it’s in person or online.
Parent Guide: Preparing your Child for Bullying
Help your child list three safe adults they can tell about the bullying.
Don’t show your feelings. Do your best to hide feelings of sadness or anger until the bully is gone.
Whenever is reasonable, walk away or avoid the bully entirely.
Act confident: Bullies seem to avoid those who seem confident. Even if you don’t feel confident, you can pretend by standing tall, responding with a calm and clear voice, and making eye contact. Always practice these skills before you need to use them!
Respond Neutrally: Bullies get bored with neutral responses. The trick here is to seem uninterested in what the bully has to say, without giving a reason to argue. Try responses like: “Eh, maybe.”; “Possibly.”, “Hmm, I don’t know.”, “Who cares?”.
If the bullying continues, tell an adult or trusted authority figure.