Protecting Your Children from the Dangers of the Internet
If you watch documentaries or follow true crime, you have probably heard about Betrayal, the 9-part podcast about Jennifer Faison and Spencer Herron. https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-betrayal-95632727/
Forty-eight at the time, Herron was the cool teacher at Kell High School in Cobb County, Georgia. He was head of the video production department and voted Teacher of the Year. Herron was active in the after-school programs and clubs that kids formed as extracurriculars.
Jennifer Faison is a television producer and former wife of Herron. Faison dated Herron in college, and although they amicably split up, with Faison pursuing a career in LA and Herron becoming a high school teacher in Georgia, they eventually found their way back to each other after he split with his first wife. Fresh off of his divorce, they reconnected on Facebook. Faison remarks throughout the podcast that she truly thought this was the love of her life. They quickly fell in love all over again and promptly tied the knot. She would wake up every single morning to a sweet note by the coffee machine from Herron. Throughout their seven years of marriage, they both continued to work full-time while opening a neighborhood wine bar.
Their perfect romance all came crashing down on June 1st, 2018, when Herron went from being every high school student’s favorite teacher to a disgraced predator and felon. Faison will never forget coming home from work that day to find Herron sitting on their sofa, devastated, face in hands, repeatedly saying, “It’s all over.” while shaking his head. She picked up the slip of paper in front of him and felt shockwaves roll through her as she read the words “sexual assault on a student.”
During the first few days Herron was in jail, a friend alerted Faison that Herron’s social media pages were flooded with nasty comments. She decided to log into his accounts from his computer, which is when even more devastating news came to light. Not only had Herron carried out an illegal sexual relationship with one of his students, but he had been intimate with dozens of women consensually throughout their marriage, even meeting up with a few of his girlfriends during the week of their wedding. The after-school programs Herron was part of were later found to be something he used as an excuse to be alone with his victims.
Continuing to look through his iCloud account, Faison was overwhelmed by huge quantities of explicit texts and photos from other women, some of which were from friends of hers. The wine bar had become Herron’s brothel of sorts. The student Herron had assaulted was actually one of 3, as others came forward to report his misconduct. All his victims stated he was pushy, aggressive, manipulative, and an excellent liar.
Charged with six counts of sexual assault against students, Herron pled guilty (https://wegotthiscovered.com/news/is-spencer-herron-out-of-prison/) and was sentenced to six years in prison with 15 years on probation. He also had to register as a sex offender. Unfortunately, like many criminals with similar infractions, he did not have to serve his entire sentence due to prison space shortages.
https://abcnews.go.com/US/video/betrayal-perfect-husband-love-story-terribly-wrong-100801605
Season 2 of the Betrayal podcast follows various women who have had to deal with similar or worse situations with their own husbands. Their stories are shocking and devastating. One mother, Ashley Lytton, finds incriminating photos of child sexual abuse material on her husband’s computer, including images of her daughter.
Season 2 also includes interviews with FBI agents, police officers, and Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force Program members. Many of them make it clear just how tragically ubiquitous this material is. The podcast serves as a necessary educational tool for the public during a time when instances of child sexual abuse material are at an all-time high, with rates continuing to rise every year. One of the key takeaways is that this abuse should no longer be referred to as “child pornography” because that implies it is consensual. Child Sexual Abuse Material, or CSAM for short, is now a term used by those who work to stop the production and distribution of this material.
Statistics
Doing a simple Google search for something like “CSAM arrests in the US” will yield over 29 million results. The United States hosts more child sexual abuse material than any other country. In a study by MIT, the US hosted 21% of global CSAM URLs at the end of 2021, and 30% during just the first three months of 2022. Over 250,000 URLs containing or advertising CSAM were found on the dark web in 2021, and those are just the ones found. Many more exist in other parts of the dark web. This is a 64% increase from 2020.
The dark web, also known as the invisible or hidden web, is defined as the section of the Internet that is not visible to search engines and requires the use of an anonymizing browser. This shady part of the web exists on darknets, which are overlay networks that use the Internet but require specific software, credentials, and configurations. The dark web is a playground for nefarious activities, including but not limited to buying and selling illegal drugs, weapons, passwords, stolen identities, human organs, and CSAM.
Companies like Apple, Google, Microsoft, and Facebook have always had strategies to stop the spread of child sexual exploitation. However, it is increasingly difficult for them to keep up with the exponential growth in the last few years. Tech companies have a more challenging time policing it because of the sheer volume and Internet criminals getting craftier at hiding it. There is a $150,000 fine issued to companies that see it and fail to report it.
Tech and social media companies need to do more to stop the spread of CSAM. A report from November 2021 showcased just how much reports of upsetting materials increased during the pandemic.
During COVID-19 in 2020, kids were spending far more time online while predators had reduced opportunities to commit offline abuses, which resulted in increased demand for illegal imagery online. While increases in reporting do not necessarily mean an increase in cases, it does mean that recent trends in technology have also made this issue worse. Internet criminals can easily exploit vulnerabilities through the dark web using whichever country has the weakest technical and regulatory protocols. It is just as easy to access a site hosted in the US as in Europe, Asia, or anywhere else.
Talking to your kids
Children now have their own phones and iPads as early as six years old. Talking to your kids about safe internet usage is of utmost importance, especially when dangerous online material and online predators are at an all-time high. Similarly to how you might ask your child about their day at school, start asking about what they did online that day. Making it part of everyday conversation helps them understand early on that they can come to you with any concerns or issues that may arise while they are online.
It’s essential to trust your gut and understand the warning signs. In as many as 9 out of 10 cases of child sexual abuse, children don’t tell anyone what happened to them. Adults are responsible for recognizing behaviors that might make kids vulnerable online. In addition to talking to your kids regularly about online safety, it’s also important to educate the other adults in their lives about how to safeguard children.
The Four R’s of Prevention
Rules: Everyone is safer when there are clearly outlined rules for Internet usage (i.e., not using a last name on Instagram or not accepting friend requests from anyone they don’t know).
Respect: Follow the rules you teach your children to follow to set a positive example.
Read: Regularly check in by reading and interpreting what your kids are up to online. Trust your intuition and stay aware of any concerning behaviors.
Responsibility: Adults are responsible for keeping kids safe. Share these prevention tips with your community.
https://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/four-rs-of-prevention
There are so many simple ways to teach your children how to understand what is appropriate and what is not through setting simple boundaries. All family members have the right to privacy while dressing, bathing, sleeping, etc. If your child does not want to kiss their grandpa on the cheek, let them shake hands instead. Let the grandpa know you are teaching boundaries and why no means no. Using proper names for body parts is another way to tell your child what is appropriate and what is not while helping them understand their bodies. Make it clear that you will support your children if they ask for privacy or say no to touching that might make them uncomfortable.
Resources
If you know someone who is struggling with their thoughts or feelings toward children, you can find help at https://stopitnow.org.
If someone in your life is involved in harming or sexually exploiting children, it is very important that you schedule an appointment with a mental health counselor.
Online Safety Resources:
https://www.missingkids.org/footer/contactus
https://www.ceop.police.uk/Safety-Centre/
PANTS Rules:
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/pants-underwear-rule/
P: Privates are private
A: Always remember your body belongs to you
N: No means no
T: Talk about secrets that upset you
S: Speak up; someone can help
Top Tips for Online Safety:
Talk to your children about what they do online.
Discuss who they are in contact with online.
Use settings to assist you in limiting who your child communicates with
Remind them not to share personal information.
Ensure they know they can come to you or another trusted adult with concerns.
Visit the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at https://www.missingkids.org or 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)